2016 has been the year of exploration and discovery. Like updating a software I wanted to change some of the features in my mind. I wanted to get rid of the old habits and bring some new ones. I promised myself not to waste my time on the internet (30% successful!) and instead get back to the habits of reading books and doing meditation. I have tried my best to listen more to myself, my thoughts, and my feelings. And to develop a listening habit with which I can communicate with others more efficiently. In my 2016 plan I chose a simple activity every month to be added to my daily routines.
This year I have reviewed the last year’s plan to be able to establish a new one for 2017. I thought I have mastered the once-new-now-old habits and it is time to add new stuff. I was so wrong! Not only did I fail at mastering them, I still had to spend a great effort to accomplish them. I was comfortable trying new things as I was in a transition mode with more flexible time and less stress. But that was not the reality of my life. As I mentioned that was just a transition mode. What if things change?
In 2016 I had to add a “get out of your comfort zone” task every week. Why? To make sure that I wouldn’t be sitting at home or in a nice park thinking and exploring all week long. I wasn’t working since June and I had so much time to challenge myself and add new routines to my daily life.
But what about now? Not a day goes by without a little chill in my body asking what I am jumping into. Not a day goes by without me taking a deep breath to press the important send button. Where are my habits now to help me a bit in this chaos?
A habit is a habit when it is done effortlessly. You have to experience the “flow” doing it, and taste the benefits of it so that you will rely on it in chaotic moments. It seems as though my habits never reached the point to be called rituals. Instead in my mind they stayed as time consuming tasks. That is why now that I am busy with the real work there are more a burden. After a long day I cannot convince myself to sit back and read a work-related article or book. So I am back to my old habit of surfing the internet as that is the only activity that is not considered work. What a failure! But no worries. I won’t give up.
I am accepting the reality, and I am updating my 2017 plan. The exact same activities of 2016 are back to my list. Because now I know that I have a long way ahead of me before calling any of them a habit.