I started my blog with the intention of writing once a week or whenever I find something interesting to share. Later in the process I realized that once I think too much of the content and the perfectionism hits in I am not being authentic enough, therefore, I decided to write a draft every single morning after my meditation and before going to work. But this trend was also somehow minsinefficient as I was stressed out to write about “something” every single day and publish it. Then I went back to my old habit of writing when something is worth to be shared but at the same time I thought of writing a post minimum three times a week not to forget this new habit!
This week was an exception though. I was overwhelmed. As they say I shifted from the flow zone to the stress zone and I lost my momentum of doing my daily habits.
I am trying to break down the activities to find out the reasoning behind the delay so it will be avoided in the future:
1) I was really busy at work so basically the time I usually spend at work doing my personal stuff including my blog has been eliminated.
2) This week in my course I had to narrow down my passions to one or two items and started the action. Quite a challenging process!
3) I met my local group of passionate people for the first time which is definitely the highlight of my week. When they say surround yourself with passionate people and those who are already living their dream they are 100% right and I witnessed the energy for the first time. However, it was a very long meeting and as a consequence I was not able to sleep enough.
4) I am learning a lot from the books and websites I am reading and I am somehow committing myself to bring all the learning to life and that is also challenging as I am fighting with my brain routines every single moment and trying to develop a new mindset.
5) February is the birthday month:) all my family members, my parents, siblings and my husband are born in February and this year is the first year we are all together to celebrate but since we are spread between two cities the effort to organize and spend time together is more than normal.
So basically overwhelming myself with too many activities and action plans and lack of sleep brought me here. And yes I am really sensitive to be overloaded as I have been like that all my life. Being insensitive to sleep, and the mindset of multitasking has been my strength points for the last decade or so and I now know more than ever that in order to have a clear mind and a creative mindset I need space and that is why I analyzed this week for myself so that I don’t plan my weeks like that in the future and exhaust myself!
I am learning that instead of the self-negative talks and the feeling of shame for not being capable of controlling my days and my life, I would rather think of the shortcomings, detail them to avoid them from happening again. And in the process, I promise to be kind to myself whenever I am not addressing my needs.